Five Ways to Guarantee Failure

I heard a wonderful TED Talk this morning by a young Brazilian woman named Bel Pesce.  

In six minutes she managed to spell out five things we can do to sabotage success at almost anything we try -- and their opposites, which if done, will result in achieving our goals and dreams, and more importantly, enjoying life along the way...

They are:

1.  Believe in overnight success.

She may have gotten into MIT as the result of spending a few hours filling out an application, but it took 17 years of hard work to get to that point.  Get used to it.  Overnight success is a myth.  It takes hard work and perhaps years of growth and experience.   

2.  Believe someone else has the answers for you.

Your dreams and goals are your dreams and goals, no one else's. Ignore what they say your goal and dreams should be.  Look within.  That's where you'll find them -- and the path to them that is yours alone.  

3.  Believe that when growth is guaranteed, you should settle down and rest. 
Keep going, and you'll be astonished at what more you can accomplish.  Don't settle for less, or for enough. Work a little harder and see what happens.

4.  Believe the fault is someone else's.

 Each of us is totally responsible for our successes and failures.  We can't blame a bad market,  or a      lousy upbringing, disabilities, bad luck, or, indeed, circumstances "beyond our control."  We will surely fail if we do.  If we fail, it's our fault.  And if we succeed, it's our success, our doing, and no      one else's -- though others can certainly help and support and encourage us.

5.  Believe only the goals matter.  

Reaching a goal or attaining a dream is one moment in time.  The only way to achieve a dream or a goal is to enjoy the journey every moment along the way. What matters is today. So lean into it, or as Deborah Elfers and friends would say: Have a one-buttock day! It's not about winning the race. It's about having a hell of a good time and leaning forward up the windward leg, and back down to the finish.   A remarkable thing happens when you do lean into whatever you are doing.  Instead of you leaning and pushing, the activity itself starts to pull you in -- and then it becomes almost effortless. BTFI!  That last insight isn't mine, or Bel's.  It comes from Benjamin Zander -- Deborah Elfers' amazing teacher.      

Here's a link to her talk: http://www.ted.com/speakers/bel_pesce

Her website:  www.belpesce.com

Zephyr 2015   Spring Commissioning

Spring is finally here -- and with it a LOT of joyful work to do on Zephyr. When I uncovered her, she had quite a lot of water in her, so obviously my home-made tarp didn't work very well. Luckily, no damage seems to have been done.  Next Autumn, she either gets shrink-wrapped, or stored under cover.  Here's my initial list of things needing to be done before launching, which I hope will be mid-May at the latest:

1. Move boat into garage for varnishing. 

2. Replace broken gooseneck on boom (CCSB). 

3. Replace lost hoop on gaff (buy from CCSB).

4. Check all spar and hull fittings and stays for wear. Replace if 

    necessary.

5. Add SS fitting on front of mast for spinnaker pole.

6. Clean, buff, and wax topsides.  

7. Sand bottom and repair dings in gelcoat.

8. Paint bottom:  Blue?  

9. Sand all trim on hull.  

10. Add 2 coats of varnish to trim.

11. Sand all spars.

12. Add 2 coats of varnish to all spars. 

13. Replace main sheet jam cleat.

14. Replace cleats for main and jib halyards with Harken jam cleats. 

15. Install port & starboard oarlock fixtures (CCSB).

16. Install “Quisset” blocks in oarlock fixtures.

17. Open and, if necessary, drain air tanks on both sides of bilge.

18. Create and install swiveling platform for compass on aft side of mast. 

20. Check all halyards and sheets for wear and tear.  Replace as 

      necessary. 

21. Ask Sperry if they can install clear panels in jib for telltales.  

22. Install twings for spinnaker sheets.  

23. Measure and drill holes in coaming for jib sheets.  

24. Check mooring and pennant!  

25. Clean and oil teak sole.

26. Sand and paint bottom of dinghy.  

27. Purchase spinnaker and pole from CCSB.  

Like i said, lots of work, but...

BTFI!  

The Moorings' Camellias

I've been spending some time this winter helping my brother Derek tend to the camellias in the greenhouse of the Moorings on Converse Point. 

Derek pruning extra buds...

In the dining room of The Moorings, right beside  a portrait of our great-grandfather Elisha Slade Converse, a door opens into another world...my grandmother's greenhouse, an amazing, rich, damp, fertile Eden in which to hide and play with dirt when we were kids.    

One room contained (still does) sixteen tall camellia trees with dark shiny green leaves and blossoms that bloom all winter. It was a moment of magic for a child then -- and I'll admit, an adult now -- to pass through into that utopia on a cold snowy February day and see such delicate beauty,  safe and moist and warm, while inches away from a raging northeast blizzard just outside the glass.  I loved going into that greenhouse, felt somehow secure and beautiful in the face of the storms raging around me both outside the house and in...

Later, when I was older, that greenhouse held beautiful and impressive (I thought)  gifts for the  few girls I shyly courted and loved as a teenager.   My grandmother had a stack of special boxes for them, cardboard, with clear cellophane tops with "The Moorings" in cursive script across the pane.   Into each box on special occasions, went 4-6 of those lovely delicate flowers, sprinkled with water to keep them moist. 

The camellias came from China with my grandparents, who had been honeymooning there in 1919-1920.  Long before the Dept. of Agriculture put its restrictions on importing nefarious flora, it was easy for my grandmother to slip four small camellia plants into her steamer trunk, and when they built their summer home in Marion shortly thereafter -- which she designed, by the way -- she convinced her young husband to include the cost of a home for those little plants in his budget for the house.  

As the plants  grew, her gardeners, first Tony Cruz and then Domingo Nunes, got interested in propagating and grafting the original four plants, which I suspect were all a pale pink or red color, and today those four little sprigs have grown into 16 trees, each 10-12 feet high.  And the flowers, which bloom from December to mid-March!  Deep red, brilliant white, some with yellow centers, delicate shades of pink, and -- my favorite -- peppermint, with streaks of pink on a white background.   

Peppermint Camellia

As I write this in mid-March, the blooms have mostly passed, and now it's time for pruning, fertilizing, and getting rid of any little bugs that like to make their homes on those dark glossy leaves.... But December will come again, and with it next year's beauty...

Gentle, delicate pink camellias protected in their dark green dells...

Waiting to bloom next year.... Pruning one of those two buds right next to each other will allow the remaining one to flourish...

Nanny, Rose, and I

Last night I was down in my basement hunting for some family photo albums, and I came across this print of a painting I'd framed and had hung in my office many years ago. It is one of my favorite pieces of art.  When I first saw it, I would have sworn it was a photograph because of the incredible detail.  The 2nd thing I noticed was the smile on the young woman's face.  I am probably not the first to immediately think of the Mona Lisa when I saw it the first time, but that's who the woman reminded me of.  She has that same look of self assurance and satisfaction -- as if she's either just had sex or is about to. (I think the former).  The third thing I noticed was the energy and patient contentment the golden retriever is emoting.  Like her owner.   

Finally, the three subjects of the painting — the woman, the dog, and the artist… I have the feeling the artist and easel are right there, part of the scene. I can almost put myself in his place, noticing the small intimate details he is seeing and recording, and I can tell he and she are very much in love, knowing each other in ways only a married couple can. The dog, too, is one with them. I was just falling in love with someone who looks a bit like Nanny, but we were missing the dog.  I knew then I wanted a golden retriever.  I fell out of love, but Grace happened...  

It's a summer weekend morning in Northampton, Massachusetts, with the sun streaming in through the screened porch from above the house next door. The dusty screen needs a good wash. There's a hydrangea tree (not a rhododendron -- too far into the summer to be in such full bloom) down the street, and the grass around the house is turning brown and needs cutting. It's going to be hot again, but right now there's still a coolness that requires a flannel bathrobe.  The house next door needs a paint job, the old paint chipping and flaking off in places, and the white trim on this porch could stand some touching up. There’s a stray leaf or two on the newly painted floor. She has begun a list of things to do on the small pad of paper under the spoon on the folding table. But there’s no pen.  The light and shadows fascinate me, especially the sun coming through the wash of the screen.

The painting is titled "Nanny and Rose" and is by the American artist Charles Prior.  The woman is his wife, Nanny Vonnegut (Kurt's daughter), and the golden retriever is Rose.  The painting hangs in the Museum of Fine Art in Boston, where I first saw it many years ago and bought this print.

So this morning, with my own cup of tea in a green mug, I'm leafing through this month's issue of "Yankee" magazine, and flipping over a page came across Naomi Shulman's wonderful article, "Nanny, Rose, and I" about her own first encounter with the painting, and then -- blessed woman -- years later meeting the subjects (including the artist) when she and her husband moved to Northampton. The subtitle is: "A painting showed a young woman what love looked like, And then it came to  life.”   

I will have to give some thought to the grace-filled synchronicity of these two happenings within 12 hours of each other….What does this mean?